


suddenly strangers (isn't it strange?)

by adverbialstarlight



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Childhood Friends, Estrangement, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Lost Love, M/M, Pining, Post-High School, Reminiscing, Reunions, Sad Ending, aka emo angst, also this is spite posting, didnt want to be in that fucking zine anyway ://, i still tried v hard though, i'm not even big on adashi what am i doing, tis wack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18304964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adverbialstarlight/pseuds/adverbialstarlight
Summary: For one blissful year of high school, Adam was in love. But then Takashi abruptly left for the military after they graduated from high school.Now, several years later, Adam has come to see him again— but what he finds might not be the same Takahashi he knew back then. In his place is a war hardened stranger.





	suddenly strangers (isn't it strange?)

**Author's Note:**

> so I wrote this for a zine but was quietly dropped without notice a while back even though I didn't do anything :)) was salty for a bit and forgot about this but I saw it in my gdrive and thought I might as well just post it now because I spent way too much fucking time on it. like, 2 whole days.
> 
> anyway, enjoy!!
> 
> title is from [Suddenly Strangers by Lauren Aquilina](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qui3AvnjDZw)

Hope was for the naive. For those who want to turn away from all realistic outcomes and like to pretend they'll be lucky. For those who think that nothing will change when their boyfriend returns after four years of military service, the only communication during that time through brief, distant letters sent months apart.

Adam liked to think himself as clever, as logical and realistic with just enough optimism to get him through life without being miserable. And yet, during the summer before his senior year of high school he made a mistake— the mistake of falling in love with Takashi Shirogane.

* * *

 He was like the sun in those years, the golden boy that everyone seemed to gravitate towards. His smile was kind, grades high, muscles strong, and Adam couldn’t help but being drawn to him too. But there was something different, Takashi seemed to gravitate towards him, too.

The two had known each other since sixth grade, having been entered into the same boarding school. They were in the same small friend group, listened to the same music, shared multiple classes together, and Adam went to almost every single one of Takashi’s soccer games. Having known him for so long, it was a wonder how Adam had not fallen sooner. There had always been something different about Takashi, but Adam could never place what exactly it was.

It became rather clear though one day during their junior year, sometime in October. That was the first time that Adam realized.

There was a forest behind Garrison Academy, and whenever there was not class, Adam and his friends went down to the small creek that ran through. It was a place that one had to really look for to get to, the trail was only lightly treaded grass through a thick of trees and odd bushes that snakes usually hid under. It was a place of freedom in this secured, sealed campus.

There were usually at least three of the boys there, but today it was just him and Takashi. They were sitting on a boulder that was balanced precariously on the bank, tossing pebbles into the current and enjoying the silence. It was late in the afternoon— almost time for them to head back to the main building for dinner, the time when Adam usually would have suggested that they start heading back, but something stopped him.

Takashi was looking at him, some sort of unreadable emotion in his dark eyes as he tilted his head and smiled at Adam. The dim glow of the setting sun tinted the tips of his raven hair amber, his tanned skin golden. In that moment he was absolutely stunning. Adam’s breath caught and the words died in his throat.

That was the day that he finally understood why he was different.

Adam had known for quite a bit of time that he was not entirely straight. It was not that big of a deal to him. But suddenly realizing that he had caught the gay for one of his best friends was a bit alarming. It was like everything was normal one second, but then he looked again and was suddenly aware that he had liked him like this for a while. A long while.

He never did anything about it of course, that day was only the beginning of the pathetic trainwreck that was Adam’s— now realized— massive crush on Takashi. Things remained the same, Adam was just more conscious of what he was doing.

He knew why he was staring an abnormally long time at his friend as he gulped down a bottle of Gatorade after a soccer match. He was aware of the ridiculous fluttering in his chest whenever Takashi suggested that the two of them pair up for an assignment instead of asking one of his other friends, when they hung out alone together and he gave Adam that quiet, sweet smile. He didn’t find himself wondering why he was putting up with this bratty thirteen year old when Keith came along as Takashi’s Big Brother Foster Care assignment, surly and far more paranoid than any middle schooler should be.

For a while it went on that way, Adam silently admiring— or pining, as Matt and Keith liked to call it— Takashi quietly, not expecting a second glance. He was not special, he was not someone worthy of Takashi’s attention, not when there were so many more interesting people around them. Adam was introverted, he was more serious about his studies and kept to himself. He was no one special, most of the time he wondered why Takashi even still kept him around.

And then, two weeks before the start of their last year of schooling, it changed.

When it happened, Adam and Takashi were at the public park with ice cream— a bowl of cookies and cream for Adam, a cone of mint chocolate chip for Takashi, both purchased by the latter. Adam had tried not to think too much of it in the beginning, it wasn’t like they were on a date or something. His sister had been making him watch way too many rom coms lately, it was an absurd thought.

But then Takashi had turned to him suddenly, looked him straight in the eyes, and said, “I like you.”

It had been as if the universe had paused for a moment, had held its breath and slowed time. Adam only stared for a moment, ice cream melting on his neon green spoon completely forgotten. “I— what?” he finally managed, gaping like a moron. “Sorry, I don’t think that I understood what you’re—”

“I like you. Like-like you. As in I’d like to take you on a date if you’d be alright with it like you,” Takashi said. He looked flustered, something that caught Adam off guard. Gone was his usual confident grin, and in place was a smaller, anxious smile. It was no less adorable. “You don’t have to say yes,” he continued quickly. “You don’t have to say anything, I just… I wanted you to know.”

Takashi looked away, back towards the two children climbing on top of the monkey bars. “I wanted you to know because I— I really like you, Adam. I don’t want to pretend I don’t anymore. If it makes you uncomfortable, I swear I won’t be weird, nothing has to change between us, I just think that you should know. I mean we only have one more year together, you know.”

He wouldn’t look at Adam, frowning as if he’d already been rejected. Adam’s heart jumped in his throat, reaching for Takashi. He remembered the cup of ice cream and dropped it, hands immediately going to his friend’s. “No, no, I’d love to,” he said, fighting back the huge grin that was trying to make itself surface.

It won though when Takashi looked at their hands and then back at Adam with his own soft, dopey smile. “Really? I don’t want to pressure you or anything— “

“Really. I’ve… I’ve liked you for a long time too,” Adam said firmly. His face was burning as he mumbled the last part, but it only made Takashi discard his own ice cream and lock their fingers together, his onyx eyes brightening.

“Oh. Cool.”

“Yeah, cool.”

Senior year flew by in a series of standardized tests, kisses, and visits to the creek in the middle of the night and during their lunch periods. Adam was actually happy, and every moment he fell even more in love with Takashi. The best part was that the other boy seemed equally smitten. They were unstoppable, they were happy, and in love, and Adam could only see light in their future.

That is, until it high school ended. The day after graduation Takashi left for bootcamp without even saying goodbye.

They hadn’t really talked about it much when he was there, always putting it off as a conversation for later. When the time came it was still undiscussed, Adam hadn’t even been told that Takashi was gone until later that evening.

It left him wondering for months, what was he up to, what would he think if Adam were to send him a letter— what he’d think if he knew just how much his leave hurt. And so when he came back, Adam was not there. When he was deployed to some small country in the Middle East for a few months, Adam did not come with Keith and the others to see him off.

* * *

Only now, four years later Adam stood here in the airport, waiting. Keith had finally convinced him to come, said that Takashi had missed him— something Adam found hard to believe. He knew nothing about the new Takashi, the one that Keith hung out with when the older man was on leave, the one who was a decorated veteran with several medals and a quiet, confident air that was so unlike the loud and enthusiastic Takashi he’d known. Adam was afraid to meet him. Neither was the boy they had once been at seventeen, they hadn’t even seen each other in the flesh since they graduated from high school.

Adam was not sure if he still loved him. Takashi probably no longer loved him either.

There was a shout, and Adam looked up to see the first people getting off the escalator. Men and women with stern eyes and decorative uniforms dropped bags and hugged small children, tears in their eyes. Flowers were given, kisses exchanged, and missed conversations immediately redressed.

In the middle of it all, Keith and Adam stood quietly. Adam was still watching them all stream out, watching blankly, trying to remember Takashi’s face from when he’d been shown a picture a year or two ago when Keith elbowed him hard in the side. He turned to face the older man and Adam watched as Keith changed from the aloof eighteen year old he now was back into the fourteen year old kid that had practically idolized Shiro when they first met.

“Adam, that’s him,” Keith said quietly, eager and anxious. Adam’s eyes followed to where Keith pointed, to a tall man with a shock of white hair and a prosthetic metal arm that glinted even under the fluorescents of the airport. There was a large scar running over his nose as well, briefly Adam wondered when that had happened.

You’d know if you actually bothered to keep up these past few years, a small voice told him.

They did not call out, but quickly Takashi’s eyes found them. Adam’s breath caught as their eyes met. He was different, Adam should not have been surprised, but he’d never realized how foreign so much time could make someone. It was unfair, and with this new shadow in Takashi’s eyes and the maturity now settled there permanently, Adam was not sure if he’d ever be able to get to know him again. Now he was but a stranger wearing the slightly older face of someone that he’d loved— that he did love and always would, but as he remembered him in his mind.

Adam tried for a smile, but it came as more of a grimace as he waved awkwardly once Takashi and Keith had hugged. He did not attempt one himself. It would just make things more tense and uncomfortable that they already were, and Takashi probably wasn’t much of a hugger anymore.

He’d heard that when people joined the military, when they went off to do big mentally strenuous things like this that it made their personality mild out into something new— whether it be for the better or worse— and that it was some sort of accompanying affect to PTSD and inevitable desensitization. What it was like to actually see it, and have a solid reference memory to compare it to, it hurt more than Adam was willing to admit.

 “Hi,” Takashi finally said, turning to Adam. There was something almost frantic and awed in his eyes, something that was probably mirrored in his own. What was he supposed to say?

Keith coughed pointedly, giving Adam a look all too similar to ones that he himself had given the younger man many times before. “Uh, hi,” Adam choked out. It was all too much, everything was all wrong and—

The next thing he knew, Adam was being pulled into an awkward hug. Even if it took a moment, he quickly wrapped his arms around Takashi as well, taking in a shaky breath. It was going to be fine. It would have to.

That’s what Adam continued to tell himself as they walked to baggage claim and then to the parking lot. They made small talk, on the surface completely comfortable and easy but very clearly not to the three engaged in it. Adam’s worst fear had been confirmed. Things changed over time, and when you let yourself go with it and become something new and unrecognizable, it is impossible to go back. He had just let it take him, let him fall away from whoever his Takashi would become, and now they could not go back.

It was never going to go back to the way it was before, and they hadn’t seen each other in so long that they were never able to find a new, evolved version of their high school dynamic. He would have to let go, it was the only logical option. Though it would be painful to know that— tangibly— he would remain so close, there was now a chasm unable to be crossed.

And so when he got out of the car in front of his apartment and waved to Keith and— Shiro— he did not turn back around.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! the plot in this was low key nonexistent but I hope you liked it anyway. I usually don't write shiro ships so it was an interesting experience. also, fun fact, I'm posting this during class on a school computer because they didn't block ao3 it's wild lol.
> 
> catch me on [tumblr](https://adverbialstarlight.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/adverbialnouns) or if you want, leave a comment or kudos to make me cry. bye!


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